Boundless Creativity + time to burn= Fun!!!

Its the month of October and because they scraped off another reason to drink, A.K.A. public holidays, lets create our own excuses. Surfing through the internet reveals that when people have time on their hands, anything they come up with seem perfectly logical to them. So below I have a list of some of the most peculiar competitions and sports that are around. Maybe one day after the usual dose of time on twitter and pubs, we might make an allowance to indulge in some few atrocities too.

1. Wife carrying competition

   

If this was done here in Kenya, some people would pay good money just to watch their friends attempt to carry their wives. it is not a secret that the wedding ring in Kenya seems to inject automatic baking powder into married women and they balloon up to sizes that even they didn’t know they could reach. The objective of game is usually to carry your wife all the way through an obstacle course and the first man to cross the finish line with his wife, wins beer the equivalent of his wife’s weight. Pretty cool and hilarious right?

2. Midget throwing Contest

This cracked me up. Who does that? Apparently, this game is in Australia and it was almost banned because it degrades the dwarfs. But people argued that it denies the midgets a chance to make extra income! Really. Its like tossing kids with a heightened(pun intended)sense of humor. It just looks wrong  just by the sheer size of them. It is a bar attraction in which dwarves wearing special padded clothing or Velcro costumes are thrown onto mattresses or at Velcro-coated walls, participants of the contest compete to throw the dwarf the farthest.

If introduced, can this game really fly in Kenya?

3. Extreme Ironing World Championships

Have you heard of mascularization of house chores? Well, you’ve heard it now. These men are going to extreme measures just to get some chores done. I bet their wives have never asked them to iron clothes again after these stunts. It is outrageous to ask your husband to iron clothes then he goes underwater and comes back with the clothes unironed and wet to boot because he couldn’t find a socket!!? I bet this sport was invented by a husband with a twisted sense of humor.

It started in Leicester, UK in 1997, and is an exciting and dangerous sport where anyone who would like to participate should be ready for ironing a few items of laundry, preferably on a difficult climb of a mountainside, ice or under water.

4. World Sauna Championships

When you hear sauna, you immediately think of relaxation and bliss. But imagine sitting in there for an infinite amount of time until you feel that you cannot take it any more and  your behind is on fire. Well, welcome to the world of sauna champs.

Competitors from over 20 countries take part in the competition at their own risk, an

d have to sign a form agreeing not to take legal action on the organization. The competitors must sit in a 110° sauna and half a liter of water is added every 30 seconds. They must sit erect with their thighs and buttocks on the seat. They cannot touch any surface with their hands and forearms have to be in an upright position and must stay on their knees. The person who sits longest is the winner.

Disclaimer: Someone once died in this game so I wouldn’t recommend it!!!

 

5.Kenyan Flavor

Well, just for good measure, I throw in some local flavor. I bet the Kenyan Bull fighting and cock fighting would rank highly in bizzarness.  Not forgetting donkey derby in Lamu at the Lamu culture fest. That is the home of pampered donkeys.

From the list, its clear that traditionalists where not entirely primitive and boring. They did have their own version of fun! Join in the cheer!!

Looking forward to a fun packed sporty weekend (21st sep – 23rd sep)

This will be a jam packed weekend in terms of the things happening. The Safaricom Sevens will be happening and those of you who are crowd phobic can just opt to come to Blanco’s and enjoy the best seats with good food and great ambiance to boot.Then of course there is our very own Kenya Premier League where our favorite teams will be battling each other. Plus there will be formula one and the British Premier League to enjoy too.Take a look at the list of the major sports this weekend. ( the time is all Kenyan time so just show up and enjoy 🙂 )

Friday 21st September

           14:25 – 15:55

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 1 – Games 14 – 17

15:55 – 17:20

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 1 – Games 18 – 20

Saturday 22nd September

10:50 – 12:20

Motorsport

Race 1

12:50 – 14:10

Motorsport

F1: Sing Tel Singapore Grand Prix Practice Session 3

14:00 – 16:45

Soccer

Barclays Premier League Week 6: Swansea City v Everton

16:45 – 19:55

Soccer

Barclays Premier League Week 6: Chelsea v Stoke City

Rugby

09:55 – 11:25

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 2 – Games1 – 4

11:25 – 12:50

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 2 – Games 5 – 8

12:50 – 14:05

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 2 – Under 19 Girls Final & Sch Main Final

14:05 – 15:35

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 2 – Games 9 – 12

15:35 – 16:45

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 2 – Games 13 – 1

The highlight will be the match between AFC Leopards And Gor Mahia. The ultimate battle will be at 1500 hrs.

Sunday 23rd September

11:00 – 12:00

Motorsport

GP2 Series: Singapore Race 2

14:30 – 17:30

Motorsport

F1: Sing Tel Singapore Grand Prix Main Race

14:30 – 17:30

Soccer

Barclays Premier League Week 6: Liverpool v Man Utd

17:30 – 20:55

Soccer

Barclays Premier League Week 6: Man City v Arsenal
     Rugby

08:30 – 09:55

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 3 – Bowl QFs

09:55 – 11:25

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 3 – Main QFs

11:25 – 12:35

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 3 – Under12 &14 Final

12:35 – 13:20

Rugby

Safaricom Sevens Day 3 – Shield SFs

13:30 – 16:00

Soccer

Tusker Premier League Oserian v Ulinzi Stars

16:00 – 18:00

Soccer

Tusker Premier League Karuturi Sports v Tusker

The late worm catches the storm

You know how they always say that Kenyans are never on time for anything? Tell that to a boss who’s only concern is that you know how to read a watch and doesn’t care from which crevice you hail. You will find your ‘Kenyan’ self kicked out to go join a more ‘Kenyan’ organization. For some people like me, I struggle quite a bit with the concept of time. It passes too fast! One minute you are indulging in something, and the next, two hours are gone. Really? I think I live in a kind of freeze frame where time stops when I am doing something and unfreezes when I am done. Only then, I’m I hit by the fact that time doesn’t freeze and that I should probably buy a watch with a needle as an alarm. So that it can prick me each time it is time to shift to something else or to go somewhere.

 
In a waiters line of work, punctuality is crucial and is normally a matter of tranquility or world war reloaded from the manager. Usually, when one has just started a new job, you are on your best behavior until you start getting tired of putting up a facade. A serial latecomer will slowly slip back to his ways because punctuality is oh so foreign. I did that. In the first few weeks, I was on time like dawn but I started slipping. Pretty soon I had given so many excuses that I began chuckling before I said anything because even I was finding it hard to believe my own conjured stories. Then I got to have a taste of the consequences.

You see, when you come late at our workplace, you write a report. I wrote many. It was embarrassing. I loathe reports. Why? Because having written documentation of your misdemeanors strewn all over your record, in your own handwriting, is tantamount to career suicide and self damnation. I am not a fan of suicide or similar antics.Far too extremist for my liking. Plus coming late had a way of placing a bad mojo on your day and things just go wrong for no apparent reason. You get the moody guest, the manager is on your back like a shadow, you get bloated thus standing up straight is an issue, and by the end of the day,your nursing a massive headache from hell.

Bad days here have an extra B in the bad so I think its about time to make some resolutions. I don’t think I have it in me, to write more reports or endure more avoidable  bad kharma. It will age me prematurely and I am too young to start getting physically scarred by life.

What to expect this Weekend (9th September – 11th September)

Your Home of Sports Entertainment is your reliable place where you can catch you favorite sports and enjoy good food and great company. This a list for the big fixtures of the weekend.

1. Football

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kenya premier League

  • Tusker Vs AFC Leopads              Friday 7th         1900 hrs
  • Gor Mahia VS Sony Sugar          Sunday9th         1600 hrs

FIFA U/20 Women’s World Cup

  • USA Vs Germany                           Saturday 8th   1400 hrs

2. Rugby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Castle Rugby Championship

  • New Zealand Vs Argentina      Saturday 8th     1000 hrs
  • Australia Vs South Africa        Saturday 8th     1330hrs

3. Motor Sport

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Italian Grand Prix

  • F1: Santander Italian Grand Prix Practice Session 3    Saturday 8th  1200 hrs
  • F1: Santander Italian Grand Prix Qualifying                    Saturday 8th 1500 hrs
  • F1: Santander Italian Grand Prix Main Race                   Sunday 9th     1430 hrs

 

Fight like a girl? Maybe we need to rethink that phrase…

Do you remember the time when you were growing up when you would tell people who could not fight to stop fighting like a girl. Well, I think that phrase should be changed to something more appropriate like stop fighting like a baby because these days, ladies too prove that they can pack quite a punch.

Galleria mall yesterday played host to a women’s boxing championship where our very own Sarah Achieng from Kenya ( A.K.A. Angel of war) had a bout against Everlyn Zalwango(Uganda) to contest for the crown for the East and Central Africa Professional Women’s Featherweight Champion. (Below: Sarah Achieng left, Everlyn Zalwango right)

Being the patriot I am, I will give a brief view of Sarah Achieng.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Name: Sarah Achieng

Weight: 58 kg (featherweight)

#45 rank in the world

So our Kenyan girl went head to head with the Ugandan Everlyn Zalwango. The room jumped to life when Sarah got on to the boxing ring. She had a grand entrance where she was ushered in by a caravan of cheering fans with the forerunner holding flaming rods and twirling them around in a spectacular way. Was she going to live up to all the hype around her? Yes she did! She punched her way to defending her title as Current East and Central Africa Professional Women’s Featherweight Champion. It was a highly entertaining match and the highlight of the event held by FICCS yesterday 1st September. Here is the link to the clip of the match.

There was then a VIP dinner with Sarah held at Blanco’s Sports Grill to allow people to dine with the current female boxing phenomena in Kenya. Power to the ladies!